God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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