let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.