why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.