either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
