She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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