3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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