She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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