is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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