Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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