omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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