I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drunk is not a location!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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