you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's always time for handjobs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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