i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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