Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
