I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize