i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
