The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
