That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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