fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
