beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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