mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
