Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
