are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
