Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
