I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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