plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize