that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
