My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
