Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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