he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
