So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
