He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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