Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize