why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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