Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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