Can Purell be used as lube?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
