I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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