Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
how drunk are you?