i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.