Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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