i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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