Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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