3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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