Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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