they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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