Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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