no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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