your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
