Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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