well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
