I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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