Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
