Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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