No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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