You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
