I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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