So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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