Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
