Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
