i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
