I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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